Against the backdrop of World Hospice Day on October 8, volunteers from the outpatient hospice service of ASB Mannheim/Rhine-Neckar Region talk about their experiences and encounters.
Christine Dettmann, Marion Luksch and Heidi Ankenbrand are involved as volunteer hospice companions at ASB Mannheim/Rhine-Neckar Region. As different as their experiences are in dealing with seriously ill and dying people, they agree that they get a lot back. In gratitude, life experience and intimate moments that also shape their own lives.
"We will not escape this"
Heidi Ankenbrand is new to the team. She completed the course to become a hospice companion at ASB Mannheim/Rhine-Neckar Region in 2019. "The topic has interested me since I was a child," says the 44-year-old social worker. She grew up in a small village, where dealing with death was rather natural and taken for granted, she says. "Dying and death, that's part of life," she adds, "we won't escape it." "It's a rarity," says Christine Dettmann, "in our society, the topic of death is still suppressed." The 67-year-old is a woman of the first hour at the outpatient hospice service. She has accompanied many people on their last journey. For her, it is important that everything is taken care of and that the dying can leave well without having any "unpaid bills". This is precisely where hospice accompaniment can often help, she says. "It's not always possible," adds Marion Luksch, "but sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference." The 64-year-old has also been involved in the hospice movement for decades. Dealing openly and sincerely with those affected, but also with their relatives, is a particular concern of hers. "Staying honest to the end," she says, recalling accompanying a homeless woman in a palliative care unit. "The woman had misery in her luggage," she says, but together they managed to work through a lot. "I could no longer change her life," says Marion Luksch, "but I could help her understand many things better." "I will never forget this woman," she says thoughtfully.
"Our job is to endure everything".
It is not easy to let go. It is also difficult for the volunteers to say goodbye after a long and intensive accompaniment. Christine Dettmann remembers a woman who accompanied her for years. She still has tears in her eyes today. This woman said to her: "Don't be sad, dying is not difficult. These are encounters that remain unforgotten. "We are also allowed to be sad," adds Heidi Ankenbrand. She has been accompanying a now 86-year-old on her final journey for months. "The conversations with her give me so much," she says, "she is so undramatic, humorous, she has no unpaid bills and I can learn so much from her." It's her first time accompanying her as a volunteer, and she looks forward to each meeting with the elderly lady. "I will never forget the woman," says Heidi Ankenbrand, "and yes, I will grieve when she dies." It's a balancing act between emotional care and professional distance. "I thoroughly clean my shoes before every visit at the door and leave myself outside," says Christine Dettmann," that helps me to gain distance." Later, she would go back to her own life. "It's important for me to fortify myself before every conversation," Marion Luksch reveals, "I eat and drink and take off my wristwatch." This gives her time and peace to fully engage with the other person, she says.
"Listening and taking yourself back, that's the most important thing".
Marion Luksch opens doors in the palliative care unit. It's almost a ritual for her. "I stand in the open doorway and wait a little while so that I can fully engage with the other person. Waiting, listening or even remaining silent together, taking a step back and focusing on the other person - these are the crucial things, the three volunteers agree. They experience a lot of gratitude; from the dying but also from relatives. "Many then want to give us a gift or money," says Christine Dettmann. She strictly refuses, saying that the support is a voluntary task. Sometimes, however, she wishes for something, "I then say, if you are on the other side, then you can push the clouds for me from time to time." At her son's wedding, she said, it rained terribly, "so I asked very hard for good weather." When they came out of the church, the sun suddenly shone. "I know how that sounds," she says with a smile, "but we don't know what will happen after death.
Don't be alone in difficult hours - the outpatient hospice service
The outpatient hospice service of ASB Mannheim/Rhine-Neckar Region has been in existence since 1997. The full-time and volunteer employees accompany seriously ill and dying people and their relatives. Those affected receive help and information at the counseling center. The outpatient hospice service of ASB Mannheim/Rhine-Neckar Region works closely with the providers of specialized outpatient palliative care (SAPV) and is part of the regional network in the Rhine-Neckar region. On October 21 and 22, the next orientation seminar will take place in the rooms of the outpatient hospice service in Edisonstraße in Mannheim-Käfertal. In addition interested ones are cordially invited, a written registration under hospiz@asb-rhein-neckar.de is necessary. Further information at: www.asb-rhein-neckar.de